man to man (without Dean Learner)

but we have to also realise

we are dumb and weak

and we assign things to people

and build them up to be things they are not

just explore

I wish I told him to fuck off

Foam in my hair. It makes me skin itch, all the warnings on the screen, makes me think even they know the foam will melt me. Mercy is so empty these days, competition down and up the road. I wash my hair, "No spray, no pussy" the toilet attendant sings, one of the many rhymes I have heard in club toilets over the year, Birmingham Gatecrasher was the first place I heard them.

"How about this? No clean fingers, no niggers" some dickhead says to the attendant. It doesn't register to me what has been said until the second time he says it. Vacuum in me, vacuum in me. I turn around and look at him, fat face on top of round white polo top. I carry on washing as he leaves. Some other dick moans about the price of hair wax and tries to get it for 50p. He leaves, I turn to the attendant and ask if he's alright, he nods. His eyes tell me he's used to this. Why didn't I just turn around and tell him to fuck off. I wish I told him to fuck off.

It's been an emotional day, week, yes. Year, two years. Yes.

I dance. I wish I told him to fuck off.
I smile at my friends. I wish I told him to fuck off.
I kick foam about. I wish I told him to fuck off.
I leave. I wish I told him to fuck off.

I wish I told him to fuck off.I wish I told him to fuck off.
I wish I told him to fuck off.I wish I told him to fuck off.